So I'm reading 'The Kid'

It's the sequel to 'Push' by Sapphire. All I can say is 'What The Fuck'! I don't even know why I let my people drag me into reading this shit. I told someone yesterday it's as if Sapphire wrote down a list of all the fucked up shit that could happen to a little black boy, then took that list and put it in story form. I have thrown my Nook to the ground on several occasions since I started this. I am still just a bit confused as to what Sapphire is trying to get to with this story. I mean, there are parts where you can;t tell if the lead character is dreaming or mentally ill! And my frustration right now is the fact that this character did something awful but is speaking to himself as if the things they say he did are a lie. I could handle this better if the author just let me know upfront that this character has a mental problem or can;t really grasp reality but since she has not let me know that I am forced to believe that his mind is right and then I have to ask 'What the fuck is his problem?'

So yeah, that's what I am doing at this point in my life. Reading a book and still not working on mine. It's coming though! Hopefully.

Alright

It's been a while but I finally feel like I have settled in Atlanta. Got an apartment, got a job, got a relationship. So now is the time to focus on my writing.

My friend Julie said to me, before I moved, that I need to make sure that I don't squander this opportunity. And I plan on doing everything in my power to make sure that I don't!

Unemployed in Georgia

No matter what happens, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the move to Atlanta was not a mistake. I have kinda keep telling myself this because it's starting to get a little hard here. The job situation is terrible and I am hopeful that something will come through within the net week cause if not, I really don't know what I'm gonna do.

Anyway, enough of that. I've started walking again. There is a little walking park down the street from my apt so I've been going daily. It keeps my mind off things and allows me to do a little thinking.

I know this entry sucks but I had to write something. You'd think that with all the time that I have had off I would doing more of this but surprisingly, no. It's hard to write at home so I try to go places but sometimes I just don't feel like leaving the house. Right now I'm at Mcdonald's.

I have written and erased 5 topics

I feel like I need to write but I don't have shit to talk about.

I need a job though. The current gig will be up in 3 weeks so I need to really hustle. And speaking of jobs, I wonder if I am the only one that feels like shit when I get a rejection. I mean, that shit is making me wonder what the fuck is wrong with me! It hurts to get that shit. Especially the phrase 'we have reviewed your resume and your application but we have chosen to go with someone a little more ideal for this position.' Might as well say 'you aint shit and we want nothing to do with you'

You know what's great about ATL though? The fact that I am presented with so many opportunities to participate in the music scene. I have been writing with a friend from College, I met someone that gave me some tracks to play with, and I have met a new friend that has an underground following that is open to me singing background for them. All of this reassures me that the move was right and I am really excited about the possibility of writing songs. I mean, I am still working on the short story but I am going to also play with this.

Anyway, if you are reading this, throw some positive energy this way and good thoughts! Visualize me finding a real job!

I finally did it!!!

It's been a while since I put anything down on this blog but as I've said before, it is time I start getting more serious about my writing. That being said, I think that I can at least do a post a week. It would be great to do one a day but I just don't see it right now so why lie to myself or you people reading.

So yeah, I finally moved from Greenville SC. My last day in that place was August 27th 2010 and on the morning of the 28th, I woke up in Atlanta GA. So much has taken place since the move and I am sure I will get to it all eventually but for now I will just say that
1. I have entered the next phase in a relationship with someone wonderful.
2. I have no job in this city(well, I do but it's really nothing to speak of)
3. I am sure that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now.

And now I am on with the rest of my life. Scared but excited. I don't know what is in store but I am game! And I plan to document all of it right here! So stay tuned.

Event Horizon.....

When an object approaches a black hole, there eventually comes a point where the object has no possible way of escaping the gravitational forces that will pull it in. A 'point of no return' if you will. This is known as the Event Horizon. And while I would never want to impress upon you people that I think my life is as big as something like a black hole, I do want to talk about the Event Horizon that I am approaching at this very minute.

Within the next couple of weeks, I will have to make some decisions that will drastically change everything. But I must. I am scared as hell but like my main man Pastor Wendell Jones says 'Sometimes you have to do it scared!'

And I think the only reason I am even making this entry is to maybe subside some of this anxiety I am feeling right now. I want to have a conversation with myself and try to figure out if I should go or stay. Comfort and stability want to make me stay but love and adventure are pulling me to leave.

So here I am, floating toward destiny.

Perfect Peace a Perfect Mess

Recently my favorite cousin pulled my ear about a novel she was thinking about reading. Because I trust her opinion about these types of things, I was immediately interested and when she gave me a synopsis of the story, I was sold. The novel was 'Perfect Peace' by Daniel Black. I googled the author and guess what? It and turns out, I'd read one of his previous books(They Tell Me of a Home) and I hated it. I decided not to let that discourage me though. I mean, I was very enthusiastic about the subject matter so I figured it had to be good. Boy was I wrong.

So, If you are interested in actually reading this book, you should probably stop reading now because I fear that in my detail about why this novel just doesn't work, I may inadvertently give away some of the story. I would hate to spoil anything for you.

Let's start by discussing what this story is about! 'Perfect Peace' is a set in the 1940's in a rural black community and explores what happens when a boy is raised as a girl, then abruptly told the truth. When the novel opens, we find the matriarch in the middle of giving birth to her seventh child that she is sure will finally be a girl. Of course she is wrong and she has another boy. All of a sudden, this woman has the bright idea of making her boy a girl and this is where things start to fall apart. This should have been a terribly interesting story due to the subject matter and in more capable hands, it could have been. Unfortunately Mr. Black was ill equipped to do this story justice.

There were a few problems I had with this novel but one of the biggest problems is the hypothesis that Mr. Black sets up as you read. When I finally finished, one thing I took from this book is that if you allow a child to 'act like a girl' they will become gay and I don't feel comfortable with this idea at all. I want to first of all say that I do not believe that there is any kind of formula that can be put together(or avoided) that will make a child attracted to the same sex. For every person in the world that is same sex attracted, there is also a life full of experiences that has brought them to that point. I believe everyone is different so there is no one way that people get anywhere. I feel Mr. Black's idea that a person's sexuality can be socialized does not take into account the biology of a person. We are supposed to believe that just because his mother told him that he was a girl, his biology followed suite. If this were true, then I would argue that I should not be gay. I was socialized as a boy but I never had any sexual feelings toward girls! Again, I am not saying that my life experience is the way it is for everyone but I do believe that Mr. Black has failed to recognize the biology of sex in his telling of this story.
Another issue I have with this novel is that Mr. Black is just not a very good story teller. His writing is all over the place and I really feel like he tried to stuff a few different stories in this one novel. The story of Perfect was enough to carry this whole book and all the other fluff just made the story too convoluted and difficult to follow. I think the biggest violation of this for me would be the story of Mister. I assume that Mr. Black introduced the romance between Mister and Johnny Ray in order to show another point of view in regards to sexuality but again, it was just not handled appropriately. After all is said and done, I just felt like the story was never fully fleshed out and ultimately just another distraction from the real story. This continues to happen throughout this novel which left me very frustrated.

All in all, I have to say this book was awful. And I mean no disrespect to Mr. Black! The fact that he's actually published in an accomplishment in itself and something he should be proud of but I cannot look past the issues I find with this work. If anything, I blame his editor, or or those of us who read this and did not call him on these issues. I think it's our duty to continue to push artist to raise the bar and call them to task when they don't. So here is my push to Mr. Daniel Black.